10
Words That Don't Exist, But Should
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1. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize
the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will
somehow "remove" all the germs. 2. AQUADEXTROUS
(awk wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet
on and off with your toes. 3. CARPERPETUATION (kar'
pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a
piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining
it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 4.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest. 5.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to
give up and sweep it under the rug. 6. LACTOMANGULATION
(lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk
container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal" side. 7.
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose
seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. 8.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting
whom you were calling just as they answer. 9. PUPKUS
(pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose
to it. 10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay'
shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
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